Parenting Kids
Misbehaviour or annoying behaviour?
Don't sweat the small stuff. If your child is whining, nose picking, teasing his sibling or displaying other annoying behaviour, explain why you don't like it, get them involved in something else. Being a positive parent means learning to pick your battles and to avoid telling your child he's ‘bad' or ‘wrong', at all. Chances are he'll resent this and fight back with more misbehaviour or go and sulk.
Help them to listen
Just think of the hundreds of orders we give our children every day and you'll see it's no wonder they seem to have selective hearing! Encourage and praise co-operative behaviour and use the ‘when... then' technique (‘when you've done your homework, then we can bake cakes') - positive parenting means working together. Use one word orders if you're in a rush (‘shoes!... Coat!') as a sentence can be hard to follow.
Boundaries, consistency and consequences
Agree with your child which behaviour is unacceptable in your house (hitting, swearing etc) and write out some house rules. Use praise, kind words and if necessary a reward chart to reinforce co-operation. If they your child breaks a rule, give them a warning and time to correct their behaviour - distract, use ‘when...then' or give them choices at this stage. If they continue to misbehave, bring in pre-agreed consequences for the action and follow through calmly! If you've said you'll turn the TV off unless they stop hitting their brother then be prepared to do so to gain their respect.
Don't pretend to listen
Whether you're a stay at home mom, a working parent or a mix of both one thing is for sure - with young kids your life is busy. If your child has a problem take time to go down to their level, make eye contact and calmly acknowledge that you know what's going on. If there are no choices you can give your child, say something like ‘I know washing up can be boring, but just think soon you'll be done and then you can go play outside.'
10 minutes a day
Positive parenting means building moments of genuine connection into your busy day with the kids, 5 or 10 minutes can build his self-esteem and make him feel recognized and loved.
Empower your children
Positive parenting is about love but it's also about empowerment. See how they would like to be involved in your life - would they like to help you choose the shopping, change the room around, buy a toy for a sibling, cut the lawn, balance some bills... it might make it more fun for you, too!
Read on for more of our great tips on being a good parent to newborns, babies, toddlers and teens!